Kind Words

Thursday, May 30, 2013

by Dr. Paul Chappell

"She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness."

Proverbs 31:26

It is impossible to overstate the power that our words have on others. A great illustration of this truth is found in the life of Winston Churchill whose father was so focused on his career that he had little time for the boy. In the biography Winston Churchill: The Era and the Man, Virginia Cowles described the incredible impact on young Winston Churchill of never receiving his father’s approval. Churchill was shocked and pained to find that his father approved of his desire to join the army, not because he thought it was a good idea in itself but because he thought the boy was too dumb to do anything else.

Churchill’s father never invested in building their relationship. Cowles writes: “Winston was eagerly awaiting the day when his father would accept him as an equal. During the boy's two years at Sandhurst, Lord Randolph had occasionally taken him to dinners and weekend parties and he was confident that they were moving toward a closer understanding. But Lord Randolph never really dropped his mask. ‘If ever I began to show the slightest idea of comradeship, he was immediately offended,’ Winston wrote many years later, ‘and when once I suggested that I might help his private secretary to write some letters, he froze me into stone.’”

Churchill’s father died when he was still a very young man, and he never received the approval he so desperately sought. When we express praise or condemnation we are shaping the view others have of themselves in powerful ways. While there are times when correction is needed, even then we should address the other person with kindness. Reproof is usually far better received when it is kindly delivered rather than harshly spoken. Since our words have so much power, it is important that we choose them with wisdom.

Today's Growth Principle
Choose your words with care so that they are kind and edifying to those who hear them.

Old Testament Reading

2 Chronicles 13-14

CHAPTER 13

¹ Now in the eighteenth year of king Jeroboam began Abijah to reign over Judah. ² He reigned three years in Jerusalem. His mother's name also was Michaiah the daughter of Uriel of Gibeah. And there was war between Abijah and Jeroboam. ³ And Abijah set the battle in array with an army of valiant men of war, even four hundred thousand chosen men: Jeroboam also set the battle in array against him with eight hundred thousand chosen men, being mighty men of valour. ⁴ And Abijah stood up upon mount Zemaraim, which is in mount Ephraim, and said, Hear me, thou Jeroboam, and all Israel; ⁵ Ought ye not to know that the LORD God of Israel gave the kingdom over Israel to David for ever, even to him and to his sons by a covenant of salt? ⁶ Yet Jeroboam the son of Nebat, the servant of Solomon the son of David, is risen up, and hath rebelled against his lord. ⁷ And there are gathered unto him vain men, the children of Belial, and have strengthened themselves against Rehoboam the son of Solomon, when Rehoboam was young and tenderhearted, and could not withstand them. ⁸ And now ye think to withstand the kingdom of the LORD in the hand of the sons of David; and ye be a great multitude, and there are with you golden calves, which Jeroboam made you for gods. ⁹ Have ye not cast out the priests of the LORD, the sons of Aaron, and the Levites, and have made you priests after the manner of the nations of other lands? so that whosoever cometh to consecrate himself with a young bullock and seven rams, the same may be a priest of them that are no gods. ¹⁰ But as for us, the LORD is our God, and we have not forsaken him; and the priests, which minister unto the LORD, are the sons of Aaron, and the Levites wait upon their business: ¹¹ And they burn unto the LORD every morning and every evening burnt sacrifices and sweet incense: the shewbread also set they in order upon the pure table; and the candlestick of gold with the lamps thereof, to burn every evening: for we keep the charge of the LORD our God; but ye have forsaken him. ¹² And, behold, God himself is with us for our captain, and his priests with sounding trumpets to cry alarm against you. O children of Israel, fight ye not against the LORD God of your fathers; for ye shall not prosper.

¹³ But Jeroboam caused an ambushment to come about behind them: so they were before Judah, and the ambushment was behind them. ¹⁴ And when Judah looked back, behold, the battle was before and behind: and they cried unto the LORD, and the priests sounded with the trumpets. ¹⁵ Then the men of Judah gave a shout: and as the men of Judah shouted, it came to pass, that God smote Jeroboam and all Israel before Abijah and Judah. ¹⁶ And the children of Israel fled before Judah: and God delivered them into their hand. ¹⁷ And Abijah and his people slew them with a great slaughter: so there fell down slain of Israel five hundred thousand chosen men. ¹⁸ Thus the children of Israel were brought under at that time, and the children of Judah prevailed, because they relied upon the LORD God of their fathers. ¹⁹ And Abijah pursued after Jeroboam, and took cities from him, Bethel with the towns thereof, and Jeshanah with the towns thereof, and Ephrain with the towns thereof. ²⁰ Neither did Jeroboam recover strength again in the days of Abijah: and the LORD struck him, and he died. ²¹ But Abijah waxed mighty, and married fourteen wives, and begat twenty and two sons, and sixteen daughters. ²² And the rest of the acts of Abijah, and his ways, and his sayings, are written in the story of the prophet Iddo.

CHAPTER 14

¹ So Abijah slept with his fathers, and they buried him in the city of David: and Asa his son reigned in his stead. In his days the land was quiet ten years. ² And Asa did that which was good and right in the eyes of the LORD his God: ³ For he took away the altars of the strange gods, and the high places, and brake down the images, and cut down the groves: ⁴ And commanded Judah to seek the LORD God of their fathers, and to do the law and the commandment. ⁵ Also he took away out of all the cities of Judah the high places and the images: and the kingdom was quiet before him. ⁶ And he built fenced cities in Judah: for the land had rest, and he had no war in those years; because the LORD had given him rest. ⁷ Therefore he said unto Judah, Let us build these cities, and make about them walls, and towers, gates, and bars, while the land is yet before us; because we have sought the LORD our God, we have sought him, and he hath given us rest on every side. So they built and prospered. ⁸ And Asa had an army of men that bare targets and spears, out of Judah three hundred thousand; and out of Benjamin, that bare shields and drew bows, two hundred and fourscore thousand: all these were mighty men of valour.

⁹ And there came out against them Zerah the Ethiopian with an host of a thousand thousand, and three hundred chariots; and came unto Mareshah. ¹⁰ Then Asa went out against him, and they set the battle in array in the valley of Zephathah at Mareshah. ¹¹ And Asa cried unto the LORD his God, and said, LORD, it is nothing with thee to help, whether with many, or with them that have no power: help us, O LORD our God; for we rest on thee, and in thy name we go against this multitude. O LORD, thou art our God; let not man prevail against thee. ¹² So the LORD smote the Ethiopians before Asa, and before Judah; and the Ethiopians fled. ¹³ And Asa and the people that were with him pursued them unto Gerar: and the Ethiopians were overthrown, that they could not recover themselves; for they were destroyed before the LORD, and before his host; and they carried away very much spoil. ¹⁴ And they smote all the cities round about Gerar; for the fear of the LORD came upon them: and they spoiled all the cities; for there was exceeding much spoil in them. ¹⁵ They smote also the tents of cattle, and carried away sheep and camels in abundance, and returned to Jerusalem.

New Testament Reading

John 12:1-26

¹ Then Jesus six days before the passover came to Bethany, where Lazarus was which had been dead, whom he raised from the dead. ² There they made him a supper; and Martha served: but Lazarus was one of them that sat at the table with him. ³ Then took Mary a pound of ointment of spikenard, very costly, and anointed the feet of Jesus, and wiped his feet with her hair: and the house was filled with the odour of the ointment. ⁴ Then saith one of his disciples, Judas Iscariot, Simon's son, which should betray him, ⁵ Why was not this ointment sold for three hundred pence, and given to the poor? ⁶ This he said, not that he cared for the poor; but because he was a thief, and had the bag, and bare what was put therein. ⁷ Then said Jesus, Let her alone: against the day of my burying hath she kept this. ⁸ For the poor always ye have with you; but me ye have not always. ⁹ Much people of the Jews therefore knew that he was there: and they came not for Jesus' sake only, but that they might see Lazarus also, whom he had raised from the dead. ¹⁰ But the chief priests consulted that they might put Lazarus also to death; ¹¹ Because that by reason of him many of the Jews went away, and believed on Jesus.

¹² On the next day much people that were come to the feast, when they heard that Jesus was coming to Jerusalem, ¹³ Took branches of palm trees, and went forth to meet him, and cried, Hosanna: Blessed is the King of Israel that cometh in the name of the Lord. ¹⁴ And Jesus, when he had found a young ass, sat thereon; as it is written, ¹⁵ Fear not, daughter of Sion: behold, thy King cometh, sitting on an ass's colt. ¹⁶ These things understood not his disciples at the first: but when Jesus was glorified, then remembered they that these things were written of him, and that they had done these things unto him. ¹⁷ The people therefore that was with him when he called Lazarus out of his grave, and raised him from the dead, bare record. ¹⁸ For this cause the people also met him, for that they heard that he had done this miracle. ¹⁹ The Pharisees therefore said among themselves, Perceive ye how ye prevail nothing? behold, the world is gone after him.

²⁰ And there were certain Greeks among them that came up to worship at the feast: ²¹ The same came therefore to Philip, which was of Bethsaida of Galilee, and desired him, saying, Sir, we would see Jesus. ²² Philip cometh and telleth Andrew: and again Andrew and Philip tell Jesus. ²³ And Jesus answered them, saying, The hour is come, that the Son of man should be glorified. ²⁴ Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit. ²⁵ He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal. ²⁶ If any man serve me, let him follow me; and where I am, there shall also my servant be: if any man serve me, him will my Father honour.

Proverbs Reading

Proverbs 31

¹ The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him. ² What, my son? and what, the son of my womb? and what, the son of my vows? ³ Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings. ⁴ It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes strong drink: ⁵ Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted. ⁶ Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts. ⁷ Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more. ⁸ Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction. ⁹ Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy. ¹⁰ Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. ¹¹ The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. ¹² She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. ¹³ She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. ¹⁴ She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. ¹⁵ She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. ¹⁶ She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. ¹⁷ She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. ¹⁸ She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. ¹⁹ She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. ²⁰ She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. ²¹ She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. ²² She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. ²³ Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. ²⁴ She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. ²⁵ Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. ²⁶ She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. ²⁷ She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. ²⁸ Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. ²⁹ Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. ³⁰ Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. ³¹ Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.