The Torment of Not Forgiving

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

by Dr. Paul Chappell

“Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee? And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.”

Matthew 18:32–35

When Peter asked how often he had to forgive someone who had wronged him, apparently seeking to limit the extent of forgiveness, Jesus responded with the parable of a king who was owed a massive sum by one of his servants. Instead of demanding the repayment that was rightly his, he freely forgave the debt, giving the man new hope for his future. But the servant who was forgiven was also owed a debt. Rather than extending the same grace he had been shown, he demanded full repayment, grabbing the man by the throat and throwing him into jail.

Forgiveness is one of the issues that many Christians struggle with, because to truly forgive someone from the heart, we have to take our hands away from their throats and give up our right to insist that they get what is coming to them. Many hold grudges for years rather than take this important step. The problem is that when we do not forgive, it has far greater consequences for us than to the person who has wronged us. It harms our health both spiritually and physically when we insist on carrying the weight of past offenses. And as severe as the consequences on human relationships are, a failure to forgive destroys our close fellowship with God. “But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matthew 6:15).

Today's Growth Principle
Forgiveness isn’t changing the past; it is letting God be the judge of the past and freeing yourself for a brighter future.

Old Testament Reading

Isaiah 53-55

CHAPTER 53

¹ Who hath believed our report? and to whom is the arm of the LORD revealed? ² For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him. ³ He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

⁴ Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. ⁵ But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. ⁶ All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. ⁷ He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth. ⁸ He was taken from prison and from judgment: and who shall declare his generation? for he was cut off out of the land of the living: for the transgression of my people was he stricken. ⁹ And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death; because he had done no violence, neither was any deceit in his mouth.

¹⁰ Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the LORD shall prosper in his hand. ¹¹ He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities. ¹² Therefore will I divide him a portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong; because he hath poured out his soul unto death: and he was numbered with the transgressors; and he bare the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.

CHAPTER 54

¹ Sing, O barren, thou that didst not bear; break forth into singing, and cry aloud, thou that didst not travail with child: for more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife, saith the LORD. ² Enlarge the place of thy tent, and let them stretch forth the curtains of thine habitations: spare not, lengthen thy cords, and strengthen thy stakes; ³ For thou shalt break forth on the right hand and on the left; and thy seed shall inherit the Gentiles, and make the desolate cities to be inhabited. ⁴ Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed: neither be thou confounded; for thou shalt not be put to shame: for thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth, and shalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood any more. ⁵ For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called.

⁶ For the LORD hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused, saith thy God. ⁷ For a small moment have I forsaken thee; but with great mercies will I gather thee. ⁸ In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the LORD thy Redeemer. ⁹ For this is as the waters of Noah unto me: for as I have sworn that the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth; so have I sworn that I would not be wroth with thee, nor rebuke thee. ¹⁰ For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the LORD that hath mercy on thee.

¹¹ O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, and not comforted, behold, I will lay thy stones with fair colours, and lay thy foundations with sapphires. ¹² And I will make thy windows of agates, and thy gates of carbuncles, and all thy borders of pleasant stones. ¹³ And all thy children shall be taught of the LORD; and great shall be the peace of thy children. ¹⁴ In righteousness shalt thou be established: thou shalt be far from oppression; for thou shalt not fear: and from terror; for it shall not come near thee. ¹⁵ Behold, they shall surely gather together, but not by me: whosoever shall gather together against thee shall fall for thy sake. ¹⁶ Behold, I have created the smith that bloweth the coals in the fire, and that bringeth forth an instrument for his work; and I have created the waster to destroy. ¹⁷ No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD.

CHAPTER 55

¹ Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. ² Wherefore do ye spend money for that which is not bread? and your labour for that which satisfieth not? hearken diligently unto me, and eat ye that which is good, and let your soul delight itself in fatness. ³ Incline your ear, and come unto me: hear, and your soul shall live; and I will make an everlasting covenant with you, even the sure mercies of David. ⁴ Behold, I have given him for a witness to the people, a leader and commander to the people. ⁵ Behold, thou shalt call a nation that thou knowest not, and nations that knew not thee shall run unto thee because of the LORD thy God, and for the Holy One of Israel; for he hath glorified thee.

⁶ Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near: ⁷ Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. ⁸ For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. ⁹ For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. ¹⁰ For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater: ¹¹ So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it. ¹² For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. ¹³ Instead of the thorn shall come up the fir tree, and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree: and it shall be to the LORD for a name, for an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.

New Testament Reading

2 Thessalonians 1

CHAPTER 1

¹ Paul, and Silvanus, and Timotheus, unto the church of the Thessalonians in God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ: ² Grace unto you, and peace, from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. ³ We are bound to thank God always for you, brethren, as it is meet, because that your faith groweth exceedingly, and the charity of every one of you all toward each other aboundeth; ⁴ So that we ourselves glory in you in the churches of God for your patience and faith in all your persecutions and tribulations that ye endure:

⁵ Which is a manifest token of the righteous judgment of God, that ye may be counted worthy of the kingdom of God, for which ye also suffer: ⁶ Seeing it is a righteous thing with God to recompense tribulation to them that trouble you; ⁷ And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels, ⁸ In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ: ⁹ Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power; ¹⁰ When he shall come to be glorified in his saints, and to be admired in all them that believe (because our testimony among you was believed) in that day.

¹¹ Wherefore also we pray always for you, that our God would count you worthy of this calling, and fulfil all the good pleasure of his goodness, and the work of faith with power: ¹² That the name of our Lord Jesus Christ may be glorified in you, and ye in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Proverbs Reading

Proverbs 18

¹ Through desire a man, having separated himself, seeketh and intermeddleth with all wisdom. ² A fool hath no delight in understanding, but that his heart may discover itself. ³ When the wicked cometh, then cometh also contempt, and with ignominy reproach. ⁴ The words of a man's mouth are as deep waters, and the wellspring of wisdom as a flowing brook. ⁵ It is not good to accept the person of the wicked, to overthrow the righteous in judgment. ⁶ A fool's lips enter into contention, and his mouth calleth for strokes. ⁷ A fool's mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of his soul. ⁸ The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly. ⁹ He also that is slothful in his work is brother to him that is a great waster. ¹⁰ The name of the LORD is a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, and is safe. ¹¹ The rich man's wealth is his strong city, and as an high wall in his own conceit. ¹² Before destruction the heart of man is haughty, and before honour is humility. ¹³ He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him. ¹⁴ The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear? ¹⁵ The heart of the prudent getteth knowledge; and the ear of the wise seeketh knowledge. ¹⁶ A man's gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men. ¹⁷ He that is first in his own cause seemeth just; but his neighbour cometh and searcheth him. ¹⁸ The lot causeth contentions to cease, and parteth between the mighty. ¹⁹ A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle. ²⁰ A man's belly shall be satisfied with the fruit of his mouth; and with the increase of his lips shall he be filled. ²¹ Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. ²² Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. ²³ The poor useth intreaties; but the rich answereth roughly. ²⁴ A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.